Find your passion, and create your life based on this passion

passion filled life

What makes you happy?

Think of something that when you do it, it doesn’t feel like work but brings you great satisfaction…The feeling I’m talking about is…a smile on your face once you’re done, a feeling of accomplishment or even achievement.  If you are lucky enough to be in a day job, which ticks all these boxes and more…well, you don’t need me to tell you what to do because you’re already doing it.  Well done you!

If however, you don’t have that yet but would like a passion-filled life…then please read on.

I have not attained a purpose-filled life…yet.  But I desperately want to.  I know what I love doing and I sort of know what makes me happy (most days).  Here is my list of things, which I love doing and what I know makes me happy:

  • I want to help others and this could be people or animals.
  • I love to write (oh this is something special).
  • I want to make time for myself so there needs to be a balance.
  • I would love to learn how to dance – hip-hop to be precise.

What I would like to attain in life:

  • I want to have a job that I love (passion-filled)
  • But, it needs to pay enough dividends for me to not feel like I’m working.
  • I want to have freedom to decide my own hours.
  • When I need a break, I want to be able to get in my car and drive or get on a plane to a destination that resonates with my soul (a white sandy beach would be good).
  • I want to be surrounded with people who appreciate me and never take me for granted (a bit more difficult especially when you need to weed out the undesirables who are already in your life)
  • I want to increase my knowledge in said passion.
  • I want to leave a legacy behind long after I have left this world.

These are just a few things off the top of my head.  Is it attainable…?  Well I think I am only limited by what I tell myself I cannot achieve.  I believe that I can have all these things and even more.

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time now…see if you agree with me.  We wake up, go to work where we spend the bulk of our time doing whatever it is that we do and come home tired – just to be repeated another day.  This seems like a waste of time to me.  Yes, we get paid but therein lay my gripe.  We sell our time for money doing something most of us wish we weren’t doing to begin with. The sad thing about it though, we will end up having regrets because somewhere along the journey of life, we sacrificed.  Time, relationships, it really doesn’t matter…the fact remains.

So I guess the question remains.  What is being proposed to move forward…HOW?

For me, it’s sitting and Writing down the SPECIFIC things, which I am passionate about.  Once I have this narrowed down, I am going to identify the key skills and knowledge I need to plug into.  (Bonus if I already have them…and I’m sure I do, even if it’s just one to begin with).

Next, I am going to devise a plan to step out of my comfort zone.

I take cognizance of the following:

  • This will not happen overnight.
  • There is no quick fix and there are no guarantees (Just in case I don’t succeed, I will have a backup listed passion).
  • I need to stick to my day job because that pays the bills…for now.
  • Not everyone will support me…because they won’t. (And I’m okay with that).

We spend most of our lives working and the last few years we have left on earth, we are too old or ailed to enjoy what we have left.  Imagine having the power to decide that that is not the life you wish to live.  Imagine owning your destiny and future…not being dependent on something or someone else to make it successful.  That right there costs nothing but planning, determination and endurance.  All the things you have within you…are the foundation you need to start.

What are you waiting for? Tick…tock…tick…tock

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Making time is easier said than done…Challenge accepted


A few days ago, I read a blog post by a fellow blogger, Terence Brown, Productivity Tip #2 – Schedule your time (and stick to it).

This post reminded me of the many conversations I’ve had about topics like Terence’s blog.  Finding time in my busy schedule just seems impossible.  They tell you how easily you should find the time to do the things that would make your life easier…beginning with managing your time better. Bah! I’ve always believed, this is easier said than done.

I say this because, I know the “things” which require my time, how much of my time is required and how often I have to do it.  Therefore, I always end up saying the same thing “That won’t work for my life” or “You don’t understand what I have to go through to do that“. I’ve even uttered the words “It’s impossible“. The next morning, I got to thinking about what he had written.  It seemed so simple and my responses sound and feel like excuses…cop outs!

For some reason, my brain woke me up almost an hour earlier the next morning.  I tried going back to sleep and actually felt quite annoyed for being woken up at that time of the morning.

After tossing and turning a few times, careful not to disturb my husband, I got out of bed.  I put the kettle on and switched on my laptop, paid my daughters aftercare bill and checked if my budget was on track.  I even spent a few minutes on Facebook in case there was anything of importance for me to see.  When my alarm went off to get out of bed, I already had a head start.

Usually my mornings are a rush and pass me by in a blur.  I run around like a headless chicken, trying to get everyone done and out of the house in time for work and school.  I don’t like to start to my day this way…

That morning, I actually had time to shower, wash my hair, dry it and get my daughter ready for school (herein lies my biggest morning challenge).  I did everything I normally do and so much more but the beauty of it…I had time to spare!  I could not believe it… To be very honest.

I dropped the kids off and actually found that I was so much more relaxed and calm.  When I got to the car park at the train station, I sat back thinking, I have 10 minutes before the train comes.  Reaching for my phone, I discovered that I had actually left it at home, on the bed.  At this moment, I applied a lesson I learnt from Robin Banks (a motivational speaker) and took the “How fascinating!” approach. Robin teaches Mind Power and one of the techniques is to utter these words instead of having the expected reaction of freaking out at a situation.

I weighed up my options and just as I was about to decide to go the day without my phone (I thought it might be a welcome break), I realised my train ticket was in my cover along with my bank card.  I didn’t see any other choice but to go back home and fetch it.  Driving reasonably within the speed limit (at times over, hopefully there’s no speeding fines coming my way soon), I thought that it didn’t really serve me all that well after all.  If I didn’t make it back in time for the train, then so be it…I refused to stress.

As luck would have it, I managed to get in and out of the house quick enough and back to the station just as the train was pulling up.   I smiled to myself…


By 2pm, my body started showing signs of being woken up so early…I developed a headache, which seemed to be winning the fight against the painkillers I took.

I got through the day but I was exhausted.  The cherry on the cake…my husband phoned to say he would be working late.  This meant everything else that needed to be done, now rested on my tired ass.  Oh joy!

So in conclusion, I was left thinking give up at this point and carry on with the headless chicken charade or…

Condition my life to get used to a new way of doing things.  My body should get used to waking up earlier for starters.  Though, I’m not so sure that would be a wise move since getting anything less than the required zzzz’s is not an option for me but a priority.  The headaches I get from lack of sleep affects my Hydrocephalus…eventually.

Hmmm…I decided it would be work in progress.  First I needed to get through, preparing a meal for my family, bathing my daughter, reading a bedtime story and flopping half-dead onto my bed. To be repeated tomorrow!

Watch this space…


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Be content with where you are, who you are and what you have

How many of you struggle with this one?

It most certainly can be a trying thing to do…especially when life throws some curve balls at you.  Acceptance of your current state is more than just accepting things for what they are… It’s about changing your mindset and realizing that you have the power within you to live the life you want.  Not everyone reaches the final stage (at the same time)…some of us take a little longer than others.  Some of us give up at the start or half way through. To be successful, you need to start small.  For instance, break it down one by one and then move on to the next one.  Be content with:


I don’t know your circumstances and I don’t know where it is that you find yourself at this present moment in time.  It might be a physical place you are in or a state of mind.  Regardless of this, being content should be your aim.  As human beings, we generally don’t like change.  Being in a comfort zone has its advantages and benefits.  In fact, most people don’t like to rock the boat because of this very reason.

A few years ago, I decided that the country we were living in was not a place I wanted to raise my kids.  Their safety mattered more to me than my own life.  I started looking at my options and bravely (though easy) made the decision to step out of my comfort zone in search of a safer place for them to live.  Funny thing about immigration though, you never really know what’s waiting for you on the other side.  Everyone’s story can be different but you’ll be surprised by how many people share your storyline.

Long story short, I wasn’t content with where we ended up for a very long time after we left.  In fact, I still have moments of wanting to simply flee from where we are.  The reason for this is simple really.  I found safety, which is great and a blessing in itself.  However, this place does not check all of the boxes for me and there are some other important factors, which needed to be considered more carefully at the time of choosing our destination.  However, it was only recently that I realized that I would not have come to this conclusion, had we not ended up here to begin with.  The experience thus far has made me wiser and now, I see things differently.  In fact, it’s afforded me the opportunity to go back to the drawing board and identify what’s important to me…I have reached the stage of being content with my current situation because quite simply, it is not within my power to change it…right now. That time however, will come.



For a long time, I struggled with accepting myself for who I am.  I would say things like “Why am I like this?” Or “I wish I were different or like someone else“.  Until recently, I even struggled with accepting that I have Hydrocephalus and whether or not I should tell people about it.  It’s not a condition that defines me but I have to live with it each and every day…it’s a part of me.  I share posts on Facebook about awareness of the condition and so forth, yet I shy away from sharing my story openly with others.  In all honesty, I think this is more because I don’t want to be treated differently or seen to be useless because of it.  I’ve come to change that way of thinking and embrace it.  I see it as a blessing because who knows, maybe my story can help others.  It’s not easy but realistically there’s not much I can do to change it so…I change my attitude towards it and Voila!

As for the other questions I’ve asked myself.  I accept who I am fully because I’ve realized that I cannot make other people happy all of the time.  I see the value in myself and for me, that is good enough.  I’ve realized also that we all make mistakes, no matter how big or small but that is not what matters.  What matters is the lesson we take out of it and what we do from that point onward.  You can right some wrong’s, and that’s OK. The secret however, is to learn from your mistakes and going forward, become more mindful so that you think twice before making the same mistake again.  Love yourself first in everything you do…and always do what’s right.

who you are


It’s easy to compare our physical possessions to others.  We look at the cars our friends or colleagues drive, the houses they live in and the money we perceive them to have.  We yearn for what they have and look past the importance of what really matters…right in front of us.  Someone mentioned something really profound the other day.  We were talking about how much “stuff” one accumulates. My colleague then said that his approach is simple “If it can’t fit in the coffin, it’s not worth anything“. How true is that!  All you own on earth, physically, is not what’s important.

It’s the relationships you have with the people around you.  The ones your heart beats for, the ones you would give your last breath for.  Nurture that…

It’s appreciating running water, a plate of food to eat, a job to go to everyday, which enables you to provide for your family.  It’s the sun or the rain.  The fact that you can enjoy simple pleasures of smiling or feeling happy even for just a moment…things that cost you nothing.  The very fact that you opened your eyes to a new day, is a blessing.  It’s the little things in life, which matter the most…don’t take them for granted for you never know what tomorrow will bring.

what you haveLive simply and take it slow.  You too can be content…give it a go!

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Slow down once in a while, and take time to enjoy all the beauty around you


Sometimes, I think this is easier said than done.  How often don’t we get caught up in the day to day hum drum of life.  The craziness with all it’s unscheduled and unplanned instances.  We become consumed with everything else around us, that inevitably, is unimportant in the greater scheme of things.  We even complain about it from time to time…move on from it and continue the cycle on another day.

This morning I missed my train by 1 minute.  I saw it slowing down, hurriedly parked my car in a bay and convinced myself that I could So make it.  I grabbed my bag and ran for it but stopped as an old lady pulled out in front of me, after dropping off someone who successfully boarded said train.  I smiled as she apologetically put up her hand, saying sorry for crossing my path.  What could I possibly do…Nothing!  I watched as the train doors closed and slowed down from my hurried state.


I stood waiting for the next train to come, which would be here in the next 5 minutes.  Yes that’s right…5 minutes…Not long at all.  I turned on my phone and decided to look at my daily life tip (topic of today’s post).  I smiled, took a deep breath and raised my eyes to look at my surroundings.  It was a bit cold this morning, but I told myself “We’ve had worse“.  There was some fog covering the hills.  I lazily stared out at the houses against the hill and thought what a pretty sight it is…just like a picture.  This little place makes me think of a sleepy town in one of those stories where nothing ever goes wrong, a quiet serene life and laid back lifestyle.

My life is always a rush…or so it feels.  In hindsight, I was thankful for missing the train.  I had no real reason to rush to work aside from wanting to start early so I could naturally finish early.  I still got to work the same time I would have, had I caught the earlier train but there was just less stress when I adjusted my attitude and accepted the old lady’s apologetic look and wave.  In that split second, my day changed…not for worse but for the better.  That’s all it takes.  A split second to adjust your attitude and response to a situation and all can be well with your world.  Had I not done that, I would not have had the 4 minutes of pleasure, taking in the beauty of my surroundings.  I would not have had the time to slow down my heart rate and minimise my stress levels.

slow down

How often do we take these little interruptions (“gifts“) for granted?  Think about it…Kids can be a big interruption at times, especially little ones.  My 5-year old constantly interrupts me, my train of thought or just my general state of trying to have some peace and quiet.  It might even be someone who comes to your desk at work, while you’re busy typing up an important e-mail in response to your manager or that dreaded report you just have to get out ASAP!

Think about the stress levels, the affect of the adrenaline pumping to your heart and the time it shaves off your life.  Is it really worth it?  So what if you’re late?  So what if you don’t make your deadline?  Is your life really that unimportant?  Would 5 minutes of your precious time be too much to give to your child who will have grown up, before you know it?

Would slowing down once in a while, really affect the balance of your life negatively…or would it enhance the flavour of the quality?


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Why is it so hard to let go?

  I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. There are various opportunities in my life where I’ve had the chance to do just that and never did. Letting go of ill-feelings (Forgiveness…give it a go!), letting go of tasks at the office and even at the various stages of my children’s lives.

My 5 year old daughter has been seeing other kids get dropped off by their parents and walking unaccompanied to their classes. “Hey mum! That little boy or girl walks to school by they selves” she’d say. “Yeah, but you need to be a little older before you do that” would be my usual response. “But why..?” This morning was no different but a thought struck me this time. “Why not just let her walk by herself” I could watch her walking into the school yard And I’m sure she’s capable enough to sort herself out further from there.   Maybe it’s because she’s my baby and the fact that she’s a girl. I want to protect her forever. “There’s a lesson to be learnt“, is the other thought that hit me. It’s part of her learning to be independent. Let’s just say I’m considering it for now.

As for work (and life in general) I’ve always been the kind of person who would depend on no one else but myself. However, lately I’ve realised that the kind of stress and pressure I feel in my daily life, is largely attributed to exactly this kind of thinking. People are capable of doing “stuff” for you or to help you. They might not do it to your standards but they might just get the job done in the end And they might surprise you and do it better.

It’s a tough one under certain circumstances but I believe it’s one that can be overcome. You might be struggling with something at the moment and it might just be that you don’t see a way out and prefer to cling on a little longer.   A long time ago, I had an issue and went to see our parish priest about it. I don’t really remember much about our conversation but one line he uttered has remained with me and I try to apply it to everything I do. “In these situations, you need to use discernment” was his advice at the time. I never fully understood it but I read up and now, I try to apply it as far as possible daily.

Trust your gut feeling first and foremost then if you get the all clear…just let it go.

Trust your inner voice

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Forgiveness…give it a go!

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone or holding a grudge…


There was a time, many moons ago (I was very young and immature), when I used to hold grudges.  It wouldn’t matter if it were a big thing or the littlest, most insignificant occurrence.  I used to hear the very words in the title of this post many times over and yet…I would continue to bear my grudge.  And, I would hate what other’s had done unto me as well as the perpetrators themselves.

I felt justified in my reaction to these situations and gave myself permission to feel the way I did.  I was wrong…

I no longer do that.  Maybe it’s because of all that I’ve been through, maybe it’s divine intervention or maybe, I just grew up.  Whatever the reason, I’m so glad I don’t do it anymore.  It’s something that can literally add years onto your life, holding on to old crap and not letting go because you’re afraid it will be a sign of weakness.  Bull crap!  It’s not worth losing time over and it sure as heck isn’t good for you, your health or the other person.


People in your life will hurt you from time to time, and yes, most times it will be the one’s closest to you.  They will rip out your heart and eat it in front of you.  They will think nothing of walking all over you, making you feel small and insignificant.  It would even be easy for them to see your pain and still feel nothing.

Now you might say that there are some things you just can’t forgive or forget.  You would be correct.  However, think about the effects it will have on you, should you choose to let those feelings fester inside your heart.  Ask yourself these questions…

  1. Years from now, will this really matter?
  2. What significance will this incident have in the greater scheme of my life?
  3. Is it really worth my time and effort?
  4. Is the other person really worth it?

Once you can get past answering these questions, decide what your next course of action will be.


Life goes by way too quickly.  I know, this sounds like another one of those annoying slogans you see plastered on bumper stickers (do people still make those?  It might be a tweet now…doesn’t really matter).  The point is, time is something you can never get back.  It doesn’t matter what you do or think you can do…you will NEVER get it back.  What’s been done and said is all in the past and has gone down in the book of history.  It can’t be undone or unsaid.  However, you can forgive, choose to love and set yourself (and the other person) free.

I didn’t say it was going to be easy…It’s not meant to be.  You can try.  You owe yourself at least that.  I guarantee…the more you do it, the better you’ll get at it.

Go on…give it a go!

(Just to re-iterate)


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Pick yourself up when you’re down, even when it’s hard

Pick yourself up

Somehow, those words fall into the “easier said than done” basket.  And, it would be true.  However, when it comes down to the nitty gritty of life, that’s exactly what you have to do.  No matter what your experience, you are the only one who can get back up from a fall (disappointment, regret, life lesson, whatever the situation may be…it makes no difference).

I’ve had to do this many times before, some experiences worse than others.  I’ve sunk right down to the bottom of “life” and wallowed in the drenches of my painful abyss – convinced, I would NEVER get back up again.  My mind, as well as my physical body, affected and numb from the pain that surrounded me inside and out.  My world swirling in every direction with no clear way out.  Tears streaming down my cheeks like a broken water faucet…it just would not stop.  And then, there’s my heart…Broken to the point of no repair.  And yet, I continued to smile and put on a front for others.  I could not let anyone know what was happening, did not want to share what I was going through but silently prayed that something or someone would make it better.


It matters not what caused me to feel this way, but hopefully, you my dear reader, can relate it to a time when you too have felt the same way.

Pain…it’s a funny thing.  It can cripple you to the point where you don’t recognise yourself.  A point where you meet death’s door face-to-face because, you see no other way out.  Yes, you literally give up the fight because it hurts so bad and you just want it to end…to go away.  Seeing clearly is not an option, knowing that “things will get better are words other people utter to make you feel hopeful…but, there is no hope when you are in despair.  It’s impossible to see.

When I found myself in the deepest clutches of this tormentor, wishing for death to end my pain and it didn’t…there was only one other thing I could do. I prayed…Yes, I prayed.  I didn’t go down on my hands and knees (I was physically too weak).  I lie on my bed, face and pillow soaked from crying, closed my eyes and talked to God.  I was angry at first and let it all out.  Blaming Him for not looking out for me, for allowing this to happen and questioning my own stupidity and fault for being in this situation.  It was a long and arduous battle…one I wish never to fight ever again in my life.


Then, once I got all that emotion out, I quietened down…my mind still and my breathing returning to normal.  I took a deep breath in and out, a few times and my body responded favourably.  I remember everything being silent…even my nagging, never-ending chatterbox of a brain.  I recognised that this was something that I needed to endure, something, which I needed to experience and even though I didn’t feel it immediately…I knew things would be better (different…but better).  The emotions were like the waves at the seaside, coming and going.  Some bigger than others but eventually, they just fizzled away into the sand.  Each crashing wave being broken down after a lashing of pain and fury.  Anger would build up and take hold of me from time to time and just as I thought I was going to get through the day…I would spiral back down the staircase to my treacherous hell.  It was hard…


This is a time, I will never forget.  It is however, in the past and there it shall remain.  Like a scar…however, this one is on the soul, not seen with the naked eye but it’s existence is known only to me.  Just how deep it’s cut runs…well that’s another story.

Like I said before, it was hard.  Life carries on, regardless of what’s going on around you.  People still go to work, have fun and live their lives.  It might feel as if time has stopped for you and purely because of the pain you are in but Time does not physically stand still as each second ticks by with or without your participation in the day to day hum drum.  I got through it and the best part about it is, I’m stronger from the experience.  The lesson I learnt at that crucial time in my life, is that no matter what, I had to pick myself up out of the trenches.  I am the one who would most appreciate the pain I had endured and know the road I had traveled to get to a better place.  I am the caretaker of my heart, body and soul…just like you are.  The responsibility rests with no-one else but you yourself.  Therefore, don’t let others dictate your level of happiness.  Don’t let others define who or what you are because, what it comes down to, is that you are the guardian of a precious life.

In closing, I have this to say to you.  If you remember nothing else I have said above, remember this simple example of life.

When children fall, we as parents (or adults) easily say “It’s ok, you’ll be alright.  Just dust yourself off and carry on“.  Older than the child, we as adults are regarded as “wiser” than them.  Why not take your own advice in your current situation?  Why not utter the same words to yourself?  It’s hard…I know but you can pick yourself up when you are down.  Try it!


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Now…the most important moment in your life

“Practice being in the here and now, this is the most important moment in your life”

I’ve heard this saying before…many times in fact. I’m a procrastinator by nature, I think things through hundreds of times. I’m forward thinking as well…sometimes I go too far ahead. I have found myself thinking beyond my death, to my 5 year olds wedding day and the children she will have.

Admittedly, I have caused myself much stress and anxiety by thinking ahead. Some (including me) say, it’s good to plan ahead…you never know when you will need to put a backup plan in place (or a backup of a backup…see where I’m going with this?)

Aside from the traits above, I am an analytical person as well. I normally analyse everything, it has proven to be a good trait to have. However, I have also analysed this to the point where I realise there is no balance. I drive myself batty and literally feel like a cat playing with a ball of yarn, caught and tangled in knots. I have many medical ailments…some explained, some unexplained. I don’t enjoy feeling sick all the time, I don’t like feeling sorry for myself and most of all, I don’t enjoy knowing that everyday spent feeling like crap is a day of my life wasted…

So this morning, I decided to download some apps with motivational quotes. The quote above is one of the first I read and it hit the mark. I decided I’m going to read a quote a day and really digest it, making it a part of my life and in time…live a better, happier life. The most important decision I made, along with this, is that my life is precious. I deserve to live a happy life and my body deserves the attention I am now seeking. Right now,I’m sitting in the waiting room at my GP, its the first step I’m making toward this. A few weeks back, the analogy came to me but quietly and very quickly left me as life took over. And, that was when I took my car for its Warrant Of Fitness. This is a check to make sure your car is roadworthy and good to do the job it was designed for…so I’m here for my physical WOF.

I’m going to TRY to “Practice being in the here and now” because I know for a fact that “this is the most important moment in my life“. I don’t want to live with regrets. I don’t want to look back on my life and utter the words “If only I had…” Or “I wish I had…” My children will grow up, that is inevitable. I might not even be around when my daughter gets married or has her first baby…BUT, I am around now.

I think I’ll start with that for now and leave the procrastinating and analysing for when the time comes…which honestly said…I hope is never! I just want to stop worrying about everything and everyone else…mostly, I want to be happy…
The point is, no-one knows when their last day on earth will be. No matter how I analyse it, I cannot predict the outcome. So it makes sense to say, “live in the here and now“…in fact it makes perfect sense to someone who is desperately clinging to the end of their rope. I would rather see the sun shining or enjoy playing in the rain than worry about STUFF!
Being the realist that I am too, I know it won’t be an automatic change. That is why I said I would TRY…and I’ll end it off with one of my favourite quotes

Woooossssaaaa!…enough said 😉

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I ask for nothing…I just say thank you!

Thank you God

Every year on my birthday, I say a prayer.  And, every year, I ask God for whatever it is, at the time, I feel I need.  This year, I chose to say “Thank You” instead.  I went down on my knees (something, which I haven’t physically done in ages) and I said thank you instead.

I feel grateful.  Grateful for every little experience in my life, no matter how big or small…no matter how joyful….or painful.  I am the person I am today, because of all my life’s experiences.  I am thankful for the people in my life, my husband and my children especially.  They keep me grounded and sometimes (well mostly) insane.  Just kidding…I am thankful for my father who says things like, “even when you are 50, you will still be my baby and I love you”

A few months ago, I found a strand of grey hair.  It freaked me out and I promptly pulled it out.  Not wanting to face the fact that I have now reached  a new stage in my life.  I am closer to 40 than I would like to be and yet…a few days ago, a feeling of peace and acceptance came over me in respect of my new age.  It really is just a number.  So…the new strand of grey will be allowed to stay, in fact, I smiled when I saw it and felt “OK” with it being a part of me.  I say “Bring it!”  

I’ve come to realise that there are more important things in life. 

Life is a gift

Over the last couple of months, I watched (on Facebook) as a friend’s sister succumbed to Cancer.  At first when I read about her story, I thought “that’s terrible”.  I read the updates about her condition, her surgery to have her stomach removed and her road to recovery.  I felt helpless for this woman.  I empathised with her family and wished there was something I could do to make it better for her.  Seeing her fighting spirit and smiling despite her discomfort or pain (which really was not apparent) gave me hope.  I am not the one who needed hope…I am not the one who needed to feel better.  In fact, it had nothing to do with me.  I could simply go about my daily life and have no interest in her situation whatsoever.  But…I am a person who feels for others.  I do not enjoy seeing the next person in pain, I do not enjoy the misery of the next person…no matter who or what they are.  In all honesty, it was a story I had the pleasure and privilege to watch from across the globe.  I feel blessed and fortunate to know there is a lesson to be taken away from this and so many other stories like hers.

The words uttered by more than one person to me about death “it won’t matter to you because you’ll be dead” has rung true and finally I understand.  It has brought me to a point where I feel that whatever I haven’t done at the time of my death…doesn’t matter.  It’s all about what happens here and now…while I am still alive.

A question popped into my head as well.

“Why wait until you know you are dying (if you are “lucky” enough to know when that time will be), to start ticking off things on your bucket list?”

How true is that!?  I don’t want to wait until then.  Working myself to the point where I can do no more and lying in wait for death to come.  It seems rather depressing doesn’t it?

I choose to love life Now.  To be happy Now.  To acquire the things I want Now.  To do what I can and want to do Now. Thank you prayerI am not perfect, and I probably will stumble and fall back into my old ways…BUT I sure can try.  I am a person who stresses about anything and everything.  I don’t want that for myself any longer.  I want better.  No-one else can do it for me…I am the only one who can decide how and when I get to do it all.  No time constraints…just me doing the best I can for me and the people around me.

Life is not always about getting something and it sure isn’t about expecting all the time…but it is more about just saying Thank You!

Be thankful

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When death comes in the morning…


Death…something, which I talk about often (maybe too often) and also something, which has been at the forefront of my mind lately.  I went through a phase when I was younger, where death did not bother me at all.  In fact, I welcomed it to some degree…  Don’t get me wrong, I did not WANT to die but if death had to come knocking on my door, I would not hesitate to open it.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the true meaning of life.  I come to the same conclusion…we live to die.  Fine, I can accept that.  But, I don’t want to die just yet.  The reason is, I have children who I helped bring into this world, who I have a duty toward to raise into the responsible, self-sufficient and independent, young adults they were meant to be.  This is my view of course.  I realize that it is a little bigger than me and no matter what I do or say, no matter how I negotiate and pray, no matter what…it’s not up to me.

I regard myself to be a woman of faith and therefore, believe that we all have a purpose.  Even the beggar on the street, regardless of your creed, colour, culture or circumstance…we all have a purpose.  Now this gets me thinking too.  I have wracked my brain, trying to figure out just what MY specific purpose here on earth could possibly be.  Whether what I think or assume it is, is right…It is neither here nor there.  It’s what I believe it to be and ultimately, what I do about it or in essence, do to fulfill that purpose.  I believe that I might just have stumbled across it along the way and am doing my best to accomplish what’s been set before me.

Somehow, life seems like a bit of a waste.  I ask the question, “Why is it that we realize later on in life, when it’s too late, the true value of the life we have?”  Trying to make up for lost time in a sense while running against the clock.  Someone said to me, not so long ago.  If a doctor tells you that you have 6 months to live, psychologically, you start living as if you have 6 months left to live and then you die.  If you were never given a figure, you might have lived longer.  I let that sink in a bit.  I guess I could see where he was going with that but then it got me thinking.  Would I rather not know how long I have to live and one day just keel over or would I want to know?  I’m not sure that either one gives me comfort.  I then realized, that I am not as ready for death as I thought I was.  In fact, I would like to do whatever I can to avoid it, at all cost.


I don’t want to die, I don’t want to get older, I don’t want to think about how my life is currently being wasted.  The rat race of everyday life, work, responsibilities, bills, etc…I don’t want that crap to consume me so much that I effectively waste every precious moment of my time going to work and wasting away so much of my life, to line up someone else’ pockets.  I think this world is stupid, I think human beings are stupid.  We were born into a world where there are governments and monarchy who run countries and determine the value of everything…products, people, even our time.  Why does there have to be all this bullshit!?  Why can’t we all just live in harmony and peace and enjoy the time we have with the ones we love?  Why does it have to come down to money?

Face it, we work so that we can have money.  Money is what aids our survival so that we can buy food and see to our physical needs.  If man manufactures money, then why do we have to earn it.  It’s all just plain dumb!

Coming back to the issue of death.  I know at some point, I will have to embrace the reality of it…otherwise, I might just end up losing it.  No-one can save me or you from it, it’s inevitable.  So what to do?


Well, I say enjoy life.  Stop stressing and worrying about the small stuff (in fact, everything is small in comparison).   Screw it!  None of that fluff that consumes you, is relevant.  The people in your life that matter the most to YOU, are the one’s where your time should be focused on.  Ultimately, they are the one’s who will be there for you when you need them the most.  Don’t walk around with regret, if you have and are in a position to do something about the situation, then fix it.  If not, then make your peace with it and walk away.  The pain and suffering the people around you will feel at your loss, should be soothed by the example you imprinted in their minds and hearts.  An example of a person who loved life to the fullest and never let anything get them down.  Yes, you are human, you have weak moments and you have made mistakes.  So what, we all do.

It’s not too late, you still have time to live the best life you possibly can.  You have the power to choose how you live your life going forward, only you can choose how receptive or ready you will be…When death comes in the morning…be ready to step into the best life you’ll ever live.


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